烦！烦！烦！

Next sunday is my convo, i'm suppose to be very happy & excited, kinda looking forward for tat day to come. But i'm not happy, excited now; instead, i'm feeling down, worried, upset... There have been lots of problems waiting for me to solve, all came to me together, maybe this is some sort of "extra assignments" waiting for me to solve before i graduate?

1stly, long term injured knee is getting worst and worst and worst. I feel like i'm worst than those old ppl. My knee not only caused me cut down in basketball, the worst is i cant even stand and walk for long. Before i injured my leg, walking was my most precious transportation property of all time. I have been started to walk to everywhere since secondary school, walked to college, walked to 1U, i even walked for 50 minutes to go play basketball. But now, i cant even walk for long, not even lepaking in 1U. Nowadays, after i walk for more than 15 minutes or so then i will feeling damn uncomfortable. Worst case is, other than play bsb, stand or walk for long, even while i sit down or lay down, if my posture not ngam, my knee will uncomfortable also, so my knee can be said 24 hours hurting me, except when i'm sleeping. My knee injured since last year january, till now edi 1 year and 8 months edi. Alot of ppl has been telling me to stop basketball, say tat my injury till now also cant recover is coz i never listen to them, keep basketball... this shit tat shit. Sorry to say tat, some of u might not happy after seeing this, but i gonna say tat, after so long, sometimes i really fed up, u all only know how to say, but did u all realise how i felt? I tried to stop, i tried my best to cut down, from last time i played basketball few times in a week till now 1 week once? or 2 weeks once like tat. Those fella who never addicted to play basketball, u all will never know how i felt, and for those who did, u all should know how i feel, if not, try to think if ur leg been like tat, will u be able to do as wat u said like tat, stop playing completely? Other than playing bsb, to me walking has been making more impact to my knee than playing basketball. So now wat? Ask me cut down in walking? i did, i seriously did, but no matter how much i cut down, i cant stop not to walk forever, can i? Can u all imagine wat my life is for the past 1 year and 8 months? Other than cutting down in bsb, stand for long also cannot, walk for long also cannot, even sitting posture is wrong, also cannot, wat can i say? Recently one of my fren, his knee ligament broken edi, but he doesnt know until he went for MRI. He told me he still can walk even the ligament broken edi. I was like, wtf, wat if mine edi broken? i tot of go scan MRI, but RM1000++, somemore recently i just lost RM900, jobless yet, wat can u expect?

2ndly, it comes to jobless. Cant find job? Nope, i not afraid of cant get any job seriously, to me if ur expectation is not tat high, u can get job easily. I have been jobless for so long coz i dun wanna start working so soon, my own prob. I have been tried to run away from this prob since i get my results, but i know somehow i need to start thinking about it. Alot of things i need to consider about it, from starting cant decide whether to study or work, till now decide to work, but now thinking wat should i do. Alot of ppl scare of cant get job, keep sending to various company, interview few company in a time, after tat only reject it if dun wan. But for me, i'm thinking tat, if i know i might reject it, why wanna waste time go interview? is like wasting ppl time and my time. Coz for all of ur info, engineering job need to study the technical part for interview, not just go chit chat enough. Yet, transportation is a major prob for me. Everyone has been telling me, why i keep wasting time? why i havnt send resume out? Again, transportation is a real real big prob for me, i'm not like all of u can work wherever u want, u all can just drive there, u all dun need to think about transport. Pls ppl, think behalf of ppl before u give comment. No offence to u all, dun get angry, i just getting fed up about it. Some ppl suggest me to ask my dad to buy me a car, some even ask me walk to 1U, take bus to LRT and take LRT, yes i can but then it will again come to my previous problem, my knee!! I cant walk much remember? Ask my dad buy me a car? yea right if i can i wont wait till now.

Besides these 2 prob, still got alot minor minor prob around which i dun wanna talk so much rubbish now, and dun feel like writing those now. Oya, another thing to fan, yesterday while i played bsb, my face kena scratched, got abit 破相, dunno can recover before my convo or not. Haihz, damn FAN!!!